THIS BLOG IS NOT DEAD - and here's a post to prove it.
My dad plays this track on road trips all the time and I honestly love it.
So this is what's been up on my life lately, basically: I survived my exams, managed to finish the term with quite good marks, travelled on Spring Break, rediscovered my love for Latin American indie music, took many polaroids and begun to make lots of things I didn't finish, pretty much as always.
I also edited the zine, which I plan to publish son - and yes, this time I actually mean it, sorry for my endless laziness.
Here's visual evidence of what my spring break has been like since I may or may not have forgotten how to write an interesting post. Enjoy.
From top left to right: failed polaroid that ended up becoming the frame for a quote I love and read somewhere on tumblr, road trips, the Mouriscot lake, Cenetaph playing @ Café Molar in Madrid.
Alba and I @ La Tabacalera.
That was the last day of Spring Break. I went to a park with Inés and the sunset was beautiful, I put flowers in her hair and took many pictures. The one with the dandelion flower was taken by her, though.
I promise to remind myself to write more frequently from now on.
The desire and, somehow, the necessity, of constantly having strong, deep feelings is one of the most dangerous things growing up has brought to me, along with the fear from the vast emptiness of numbness, a lack of sensations I can't control. The wish of permanently being exposed to the adrenaline of feeling has led me, more than once, to making up feelings: convincing myself that I feel something I don't, and yet the problem gets even worse when I don't dare to guess until when I actually was feeling by heart and since when it was just my imagination. Such is the power of the mind that these made-up sensations get lives, names, shapes and colours, and I recklessly lose myself into them.
When love somehow dies, a childish belief that one will never be able to be happy again arrives. Pushing us to think that the 'missing part' of you, or however you choose to call it, will grow and grow until it becomes a huge black hole that swallows the rest of your mental sanity. Once we feel we are loved, in terms of a romantic relationship (not friendship or any other kind of love), it seems like it becomes a sensation we can't live without, ignoring the fact that feeling wasn't there before and we were able to get on with our lives without any problem.
We tend to forget that before there was love coming from the outside, from another person, there was already a bigger, stronger kind of love coming from the inside: the love for ourselves.
Alba and Marta by me, pictures taken later that same night.
In case you don't know, I collaborated with GOHS' Zine Club's first zine, and i'm ultra excited about it. In the first edition of the zine, you can find part of my visual project 'Girl'. You can buy it here.
However, my work was also featured on their launch party, on February 7th.
Pictures of the launch party by Alyson.
I'm also featured on issue 8 of Cherry Mag, including poems I wrote to the places I call home.
The day before St Valentine's day, I hung out with my soul twin Inés. We went to an exhibition about music in the 20st Century and later walked and walked around town and drank milkshakes in a cute restaurant.
All pictures by Inés v. B.
Hopefully I'll write a second part to this post soon.