usually feel scared before coming back to a new year of school. Sometimes Ijust feel like I don’t want it to be just another year, like I should force myself to make it worth, but I never feel
scared that things will go wrong or that I won’t be able to do my best. I’m
always quite confident about myself when I come back to school.
now, I am indeed terrified. Terrified because people keep on telling me about how these two years are so hard when you're a science student: how they're somehow supposed to be the worst two years of my life so far and how science students are so competitive against each other which makes it all worse.
I feel like I am entering a hurry and I have nothing but doubts. I don't know what I want to study when I go to college. I don't know what I want to work in when I grow older. I don't even know why I'm a science student myself, right now, because the only science subject I'm good at is technical design.
I don't want to feel forced to stop doing the things I like and make me feel good because I lack time to study. I don't want to quit playing soccer. I don't want to spend less time with my friends and family. I don't want to see myself caught in a loop of stress. But right now I feel like I'm somehow being led to all of it. Like, I'm in this path which is leading me to a HUGE black hole of insecurities and there's no turning back and no other options of paths, either, and each time I'm closer and closer to it.
Here are some things which are happening and have happened so far this summer:
I'm coming back to my birthplace after 15 years. I've realized how important South America is and has been for me during all my life, I've 'consolidated' the love for my own roots and learnt that loving the place I come from means loving myself.
I have always ran away from the concept 'best friend', having had painful moments with my so-called best friends before, I had decided that was the best way to prevent myself from getting hurt again. I guess one of the best things that have happened this summer was for me to recognize that there are always going to be people who care around, and that, needless of labelling, some of them will stick closer to you. I met Alba two years ago and Sara last year. Becoming so tight with them has been one of the best things that could have happened.
I decided that if there is something I really want to do in life is to create and that the best way to express myself is through photography, so I decided this year I'm going to put my 100% in it. I attended to photography classes (kinda fell in love with my teacher, too), bought my first 35mm camera and here I am, taking lots and lots of pictures.
I've started to talk again with friends I haven't talked to in a long time (not because of fights of anything, but because we ended up losing contact). It feels good to feel like they're still there after all this time.
I've collaborated with lots of websites, I've taken part in instagram takeovers, I've met new people.
I've interviewed one of my favourite bands
My new fave song has become Holocene by Bon Iver
I've been grounded twice, which is a life-time record for me
This is kind of a silly post because I'm feeling really thankful for everything that's happening right now.
However, I still reserve some time to update this thingy called blog with signs that I'm still alive.
Summer so far's been a mix between making art, writing, sleeping way too much and getting crazy around playlists at 2 AM. Reading all your posts about your summer is making me get even more excited about what's to come.
Okay, so firstly, I KNOW (I knooooow) I'm an actual bore with this, but my zine (Heartbreak Nation) is looking for submissions for its next edition, the youth issue. If you're interested in submitting your art, written pieces, pictures, or if you have a band/brand/whatever and would like to be on the zine, hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org or www.heartbreaknationzine.tumblr.com. As always, we'd love you to get involved. If you have any question regarding submissions, what we're looking for, etcetcetc, don't hesitate to ask me. The deathline by now is August 31.
Secondly, here are some updates about my life lately (aka self promo time): I'm a summer contributor at GOHS Zine Club, so I'll be posting weekly on their blog (www.gohszineclub.com) and also updating their instagram (@gohszineclub). Go follow these kids 'cause they're the true definition of amazing.
I was also featured on the latest edition of Plasma Dolphin. I wrote a piece called 'Home is where the lights are', talking about homesickness and my hometown, which you can read here.
Now getting back to what I mentioned about getting all crazy around playlists at 2 AM, which seems to have become my new hobbie on sleepless nights, I've discovered the joy of dedicating playlists to friends, 'cause the bestestest part of having friends who listen to the same kind of music I do is discovering and sharing bands.
I made this one for my friend Marta 'cause she's the only person I know (except from my parents and primary school teachers, ha) who shares my love for Latin psychodelia. However, I'm especially fascinated by bands related to the movement called Tropicalia, which is a Brazilian movement from the late 60s characterized by managing to mix avant-gard art with popular Brazilian forms of art, such as the Bossa Nova. Later Marta showed me the second band of the playlist, Elia & Elizabeth, who are from Colombia. However not all the songs on the playlist belong to such movements and decades, they basically just sounded good together.
This playlist was one of my posts for GOHS Zine Club, I made it for my friend Alba because she recently started to listen to Latin American Garage music and I thought I would share some of the bands I listen to.
City on bloom, 2015.
Spirited Away, 2015.
Learning to born again, 2015.
Collision of the heart, 2015.
Some artwork I've been making recently: a series of collages with cuttings from old books, magazines and newspapers.
Also, here's a little preview of what would be on Heartbreak Nation #3, these are also part of my collection Suburbia, a lil' visual ode to growing up in a quarter that's in the city, and yet, has a peripheric lifestyle. I phographed my friends Alba and Sara in one of our favourite places of the city. I really like the summery vibes the pictures ended up having.
I'd like to have more detailed updates but there isn't much to say. I've taken up photography classes for the summer and I'll be getting more and more into analogue, too. I'll try to keep this blog updated more frequently.