viernes, 19 de junio de 2015

love me until your heart aches / until my heart breaks / until the earth shakes

To be in the situation of saying to someone 'I love you' and not hearing it back at you makes the cardiac muscles grow stronger, so each time you listen less and less to the sound of your own beatings, or maybe you do it differently, or maybe it just gradually stops hurting. There's a certain masochistic aspect around love, ephemeral pleasures are always a guaranteed sensation and everything with the ability to devastate is always welcomed with arms wide open. Deep down, lies my necessity to admit: I am fascinated by love.
I am fascinated by romantic love because it is what I see in teen movies and Latin TV series, by how relationships are displayed in literature, by the relationship of Horacio and La Maga in Rayuela (Hopscotch), their conflict between reflection and spontaneity and how it affects people and love. 
I even like the word itself, love, because we use the same word in Spanish and Portuguese (and probably in many other languages), amor, a word that always leaves a funny taste in my mouth. For me love comes as pills which you can take one after another, hour after hour.
I am amazed by the idea of learning to love, as if you were refering to learning to walk or to the child who cries and learns to speak, little by little, with unarticulate sounds until one day he pronounces the word mom. I think that same way we learn to pronounce the word love, with feelings that grow if you feed them.
I am amazed by how our concept of love depends on who you are and who/what surrounds you, and how you've been treated and loved so far, and at the same time, the idea of loving well or loving badly or wrong scares me because I've always taken for granted that there are different ways of loving, but so far I haven't been able to stablish boundaries between them. It is inevitable to think of the kind of love that opresses and how it ends up limiting one's concept of what love is, reducing it to pieces, to a kind of comfort zone or loop where pain is an inevitable consequence, and even though, the body seems to keep on asking for the same rough fingers carressing the sun-burnt cheeks, the same words that lack substance.
The addiction to the feeling of being loved is almost as big as the fear of lacking affection and the vulnerability that attacks the soul and the body.

I like the way love creates the same conflict in my mind that faith does, whether they are rational or sentimental or maybe something else that the body experiments but people haven't been able to put into words yet, but that would feel like a revelation.
Maybe in the end loving relates a lot more to the child who cries and learns to speak than I thought it did.

sábado, 30 de mayo de 2015

Remembering summer

Remembering past summers: the first two pictures were taken on 120 mm film and the rest of the pictures are from an underwater disposable.

martes, 19 de mayo de 2015

Kitschy kingdom

I've always shared my bedroom with my sisters, so ever since I'm a child, I've learnt to keep determinate spaces for myself. My shelves became really important in that sense, as they were the only space that was completely mine. The pictures below are from a redecoration of my shelves last month.
I'm inspired by religious and supersticious art, teenhood, childhood and kitsch decoration. This shelf captures the world of growing up, believing, passion and obsession.
I keep some of my best books in this shelf: my whole Cortázar collection, the Rookie Yearbooks, Sylvia Plath, Bradbury, Harper Lee, magazines... also my film cameras and many boxes with earrings, stuff and my mother's old collection of stamps.
By the way, I'm sorry I haven't properly updated this blog in a while. I guess we're all kinda struggling with exams right now. However, here's a bit of inspiration for summer:

viernes, 1 de mayo de 2015

Heartbreak Nation #2 is out!

Okay, I know the zine's coming out with a HUGE delay, and I'm actually really sorry for it. I've tried my best to edit and put things together on time, but I've been having a pretty busy month and also problems with some submissions, but let's forget about it okay? 'Cause what really matters right now is that THE SECOND ISSUE IS FINALLY OUT!! And I'm suuuuuuper excited about it, YAY.
So what can you expect to find on this edition of Heartbreak Nation? I've interviewed the Spanish band HINDS (fka Deers), the guys at PLANETA NO (a pop indie band from Chile) and the photographer María Fernanda Molins (who's also part of the Rookie staff!), there's also a review of THE SCRAPS' new album and a collaboration with the American online brand THE SECRET SOCIETY OF EX MERMAIDS. And of course, the prettiest pictures and words by the loveliest and coolest teens out there.
So to get you in the mood for contributing to/sharing/reading it, here's the editor letter I wrote for this issue, in which I explain what art particulary means to me - I like to think of it as a manifesto of my own concept of art and creating and the pleasure of doing so.

The appearance of new means of communication and entertainment, along with the development of both mainstream and underground fashion and culture and the inevitable explosion of social networks, has given place to a certain narcissistic obsession with aesthetics… We’re running away from this. 
In a world in which aesthetics have become so important and crucial, but nor in order to create and inspire by doing what you love, instead, for building up a showcase of how you wish people would perceive you, we’re trying to find a shelter where we can create by the simple pleasure and pride of doing what fulfills us. 
The whole idea of making art, and in this case, more specifically zines, doesn’t reduce itself to the wish of creating visually pleasing images. We’re painting, drawing, writing, taking pictures and, in a whole, working on this content with our raw souls. We don’t create to barely be seen, we don’t write to barely be heard: we’re trying to communicate and we’ve chosen art as the mean for it. 
Our art will never be shallow. Our words will not be mute. Our eyes will not be blinded and our hearts will never be cold enough not to be touched by the world around us.  
While you’re looking at these pictures and reading these words, you’re glancing at the purest and more genuine version of each one of us, sensing our fears and breathing our passions. We don’t intend to dress up as the people we will never be.  We don’t intend to create different versions of ourselves or our lives. 
We refuse to embrace and ideology because of how it would sound on our mouths when we talk about it. We refuse to embrace an ideology because of the idea of us it would forge on people’s minds. We refuse to embrace an ideology for any other reason except that we truly believe in it.
Our art may be more or less mature, but our art is ourselves. Our ideas may be more or less idealistic, struggling in a world in which what doesn’t revolve around money or the ‘accepted’ way of acting is instantly rejected, but our ideas are ours. And they are not prefabricated.

We’re not prefabricated.

Cool, now let's talk about the next issue of the zine!
THEME: youth
DEADLINE: August 31
KEY WORDS: growing up, teenhood, childhood, fear, adrenaline, love, passion, obsession, maturity, changes, staying out until late, sleepovers, parties, friends, boys, girls, school, holidays, summer................................
  • Anything sent after the deadline won't be published.
  • We reserve the right to admit or not your submission.
  • Send submissions that are related to the theme.
  • Don't send texts as pictures: I edit the zine with a determinate appearance and style.
Submit at
If you have any question or doubt, don't hesitate to ask me.

Thanks for reading!
xx Inés

jueves, 9 de abril de 2015

Do you want to go to the seaside?

THIS BLOG IS NOT DEAD - and here's a post to prove it.

My dad plays this track on road trips all the time and I honestly love it.
So this is what's been up on my life lately, basically: I survived my exams, managed to finish the term with quite good marks, travelled on Spring Break, rediscovered my love for Latin American indie music, took many polaroids and begun to make lots of things I didn't finish, pretty much as always.
I also edited the zine, which I plan to publish son - and yes, this time I actually mean it, sorry for my endless laziness.
Here's visual evidence of what my spring break has been like since I may or may not have forgotten how to write an interesting post. Enjoy.
From top left to right: failed polaroid that ended up becoming the frame for a quote I love and read somewhere on tumblr, road trips, the Mouriscot lake, Cenetaph playing @ Café Molar in Madrid. 


Alba and I @ La Tabacalera.


That was the last day of Spring Break. I went to a park with Inés and the sunset was beautiful, I put flowers in her hair and took many pictures. The one with the dandelion flower was taken by her, though.

I promise to remind myself to write more frequently from now on.

This one was my last post for September Issues.

domingo, 15 de marzo de 2015


The desire and, somehow, the necessity, of constantly having strong, deep feelings is one of the most dangerous things growing up has brought to me, along with the fear from the vast emptiness of numbness, a lack of sensations I can't control. The wish of permanently being exposed to the adrenaline of feeling has led me, more than once, to making up feelings: convincing myself that I feel something I don't, and yet the problem gets even worse when I don't dare to guess until when I actually was feeling by heart and since when it was just my imagination. Such is the power of the mind that these made-up sensations get lives, names, shapes and colours, and I recklessly lose myself into them.

When love somehow dies, a childish belief that one will never be able to be happy again arrives. Pushing us to think that the 'missing part' of you, or however you choose to call it, will grow and grow until it becomes a huge black hole that swallows the rest of your mental sanity. Once we feel we are loved, in terms of a romantic relationship (not friendship or any other kind of love), it seems like it becomes a sensation we can't live without, ignoring the fact that feeling wasn't there before and we were able to get on with our lives without any problem.

We tend to forget that before there was love coming from the outside, from another person, there was already a bigger, stronger kind of love coming from the inside: the love for ourselves.